I hate it when I'm not "prepared". I know how some people just go with the flow and see what "comes up"...but I like to know at least somewhat what I'm planning to address. *sigh*

I'm not really ready to address the discomfort of T having other clients, so I know I won't bring that up just yet. Of course, it might just be ok to bring it up and see where it takes us...but that feels too scary to me.

I am feeling miserable about life overall, so I'm sure I'll vent about that for a few minutes....maybe I'll bring up group therapy, but I feel kinda awful about how I feel towards that other woman in group. And knowing that she's one of his clients...and during the session, he was treating her with such compassion and understanding - while I'm irritated....blech. Makes me feel like a really bad person for feeling that way. It's not like me at all.

I also have been feeling yucky about my neighbor lately...the guy who violated me a couple years ago. He's finally moving, thankfully...but I'm getting nervous about that. What if him moving doesn't alleviate the YUCK that I feel, or the nervousness I have about being in my own house with him right across the street, always having to watch my back? What if that doesn't go away? It doesn't help that I was talking to him the other day. His mom, one of my good friends, just got a new car. She called me to come outside to check it out, and he was there with a couple of other people. We were admiring the new car, and the guy went into the car and turned on the radio. A song he liked came on - and he knew it was my type of music, and he said, "Oh, I bet MUE would love to go for a drive with me listening to this music!"....I tried to laugh and shrug it off, but yuck. I can't believe how affected I am by something that happened over two years ago...and it could've been a worse incident....I don't know.

Blech. I'm just nervous about today.