I wish I has some advice...this sounds so much like my aunt and her wife. They fight alot..its even been abusive in the past. Yet having been through so much together (the past 14 years) they cannot seem to let the other go. When they are good...they are the best thing for each other, but little things can get the fights going. I guess I'm just saying you aren't alone, and this must be so hard for you to figure out.

I hope you find some resolution for yourself, you deserve to have peace in life =) {{{{{sj}}}}}