Inbloom.....you mentioned already surviving the worst of it....yet the healing hurts far more than the surviving. That is so so so true for me. When I'm dealing with trauma stuff, it's hard not to feel as though I am reliving it...the feelings are as though it's happening right then and there....and it's hard, at times, to remember that it is NOT happening now and that I survived that.

But when it comes to these strong, incredible feelings that we feel towards our T that is related to something we didn't have, wish we had, or whatnot - the hurt and pain from that feels so unbearable at times....that I sometimes wish I never got into therapy.