Granite - You WILL find another T. When you call and they say 'no', it's not 'no' to you; it's 'no, I don't have an opening.' Will they put you on a waiting list? That's my experience when their client load is full. Typically it doesn't take longer than 2 weeks. So, hang in there.

And I think you made a good decision about quitting your current T. Although, I, like everyone else do not know the whole story, the fact that you were so terrified of your T is indicative (I believe) of a failed therapeutic relationship. I have felt scared of talking about stuff in session but the fear is about self-disclosure - never of fear of my T. I can't imagine being terrified of my T. My goodness, how terrible would that be?

So, don't give up. You will find a T who is a match for you. A lot of hard work ahead but it will feel refreshing to start anew.