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Lexicon78 said:
I know. I should do all these things. But there's another thing. There are gonna be children there. I can't be around children...I'm afraid of something. I don't know what.

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Lexi, do you do this sort of thing often? What I mean is, you saying, 'Yes, I should do this, BUT..................'

I understand this may be your way of rationalizing your fears, but you do know if you continue to come up with excuses to avoid that which makes you uncomfortable, you will never be healed.

I also never cared for children, never could place my finger on it, they were creepy little things and I couldn't stand them being close, nor could I respect their needs. Needless to say, children rarely stepped into our house. Anyway, after reading Inner Child of the Past and I'M OK YOU'RE OK, I lost 95% of the loathing I had for children. Now, I study them when in close proximaty. What I came to realize was that my childhood was so painful to me, I rejected anything that touched the hurt Child inside of myself. Being around kids did this, reminded me of my pain and suffering and what I had to endure when I was little. I have been able to accept this suffering for what it was and that it had happened long, long ago and I didn't need to wear it now like a protective coat as an adult woman.

If you have a Barnes & Nobles bookstore in your area, go ask for the I'M OK book, if you can't do that, print out a bunch of the pages in the link of my signature, a good place to start, and take that with you this weekend to read and learn.