hey there, i'm also a bit of a loon sometimes, so i can relate a little to your situation..........You said that you are more of a black and white thinker, and find it difficult to understand your partner. Very similar with myself and my ex boyfriend (whom is my very closest friend now) When I was a raving, crying ball of mess, it would tick me off a little when he didn't get me. (He's also black and white) I wanted him to understand me so badly. Not sure, but maybe that's why she might take some things out on you sometimes, but when she realizes you're still there, she's very grateful. She seems to need someone to listen to her very badly. It shouldn't be you all the time though. (this is only my lil ole opinion, so take what you'd like, i won't feel bad) Anyway, all I know is that when I'm ranting, and flinging myself around the room, the only person I'm not happy with is myself. I only realize that after the tantrum. I feel like an idiot too. Boy, and to add OCD on top of it. I have no idea what that would be like. Does she see someone who specializes in OCD? Meds? I think a good specialist could also help you too......to understand her OCD.......maybe in scientific terms. I agree with you, you can't keep going on like that. No one should have to take abuse of any kind. Even if the person isn't doing it intentionally which I rarely think they do with verbal abuse. Hey, this might be a way out there thought, but I know of this old couple who've been married forever..........they live in separate houses, but right next door to each other. They're very happy with that arrangement. (she's very particular, but can't tell if it's any form of OCD.) But I'm not sure if that would be for everyone. Just a thought. Also, as I said before, I heard that therapists who specialize should be sought. They provide the most relief because they're more knowledgeable and experienced with the specific problem. Hang in there, I hope things get better for you.