Hi Joy, and welcome to BP. So much good advice here already, I hope you will continue to take advantage of the support and resources available here - even if you just feel like venting!

I would add that you might benefit from getting counseling for yourself, particularly with an expert on BP and/or substance abuse. I don't discount the pain and suffering coming from a broken home, but I can say (having been there and back) that many people deal with the same and worse, sometimes incomprehensibly awful situations. Some stay mentally strong, others have some issues, then there are the ones that go off the deep end. I guess my point is that going off the deep end is a pretty definitive sign of mental illness.

As mentioned already, at 22, your daughter has to make her own choices. You can make suggestions, but the hardest part will be if she chooses destructively. There comes a time when you have to love them unconditionally by letting go and hoping they will choose wisely. And be patient. I was a functioning alcoholic for many, many years and was only properly diagnosed at 52. Now with the proper medications and therapy, life is pretty average - which is good for me.

I know this is long already ..one thing I would add and I stress that it's not for everybody. The first thing my therapist told me was that I would need to be on medication the rest of my life. She also told me that medication doesn't fix everything, it just makes it possible to learn the coping skills that will make life much better.

Oh yeah, and forgive yourself, even if you're not sure you need to.