wolfsong, thank you for your heartfelt reply. Thanks also for being positive and supportive--the encouragement and well wishes are deeply appreciated. I really do remember happiness, or at least quiet contentment, even in its most fleeting, expected forms, but I am not sure it will return. More aptly, I don't know if I'll be receptive to it if it does, which is key. It's difficult to believe this is my existence, my life right now...I keep hoping I'll wake up, know what I mean?

Sending you lots of positive thoughts and feelings. Thank you for caring.