I understand, grey...I truly do. My life is bereft of so many loving beings whom I often feel I took for granted. It's difficult to shake that feeling, as hindsight has a way of manifesting guilt in my psyche, and all the "woulda, coulda, shouldas" start springing up like malevolent weeds in a garden of memories.

I know the anxiety of which you speak when you mention Magruder's age...the only possible solace with that is to fill every day with boundless love, play, affection, and appreciation. I have no doubt you do that already--just keep up the good work.