Thank you Bebop and Michah ... when you mention that my family is still with me and loves me, you're right. They do. But my whole self tells me that this will not continue if they find out the real me. I think they will hate me. (tears) ... I've lived with this facade for so many years, i am going to also feel like I've been lying to them all this time on top of everything else. While I'm proceeding with the appointments, I just do not see a good outcome for all of this.