I appreciate any advice in this department. Or leads. I have PTSD and I haven't been in a hospital for years. Over the summer I finally decided to get a dog to help me through my troubles. She's been a great companion for me and has helped me to ground myself. I adopted her from a rescue and her previous owners had abused her. I have been able to understand when she is scared and pull her through when she needs a strong leader. We do agility courses together and she came to me a mess and shambles and I currently have her trained off leash, and learning to wipe her paws when she comes in the house. I use anxiety wraps versus meds if she gets anxious. Which is rare anymore. And when she looses some of her natural young energy I want to get her her canine good citizen and start her in therapy dog work.

Recently in the last couple of weeks I have gotten really sick again though as I am working through a lot in therapy pertaining to my own past. Multiple times a day I am triggered by small insignificant things where I curl up in shambles and torture. Luckily I am part of a community treatment team and I spend everyday in there so that I am not a harm to myself. But it's just getting much, much worse. And staying at home alone at nights has proved difficult and even worrisome to me, as I often have irrational thoughts of suicide when I become triggered. I fear that at any moment I will come across one of those panic zones, where I push away whatever and I will land myself in a deathly situation.

My treatment team is aware of this and we've discussed that I need to be inpatient until they stop occurring. Which could be any day. Tomorrow. A month away. Who knows? It's very unpredictable?

I have come up with ample thoughts on what to do with my dog, but I am having so many issues. And basically it's left me with tempting fate and staying with her. Praying to God I don't become triggered alone and end up in a bad situation. I do not have family who could take her. I am disabled right now not only because of the PTSD, but because I have untreatable narcolepsy so affording to board her is out of the question. It would take half of a monthly check to board her for one week.

I will not give up my dog. She has been through so much. And I need her as much as she needs me. I would come home from a hospital to a lonely house feeling terrible about myself from the start.

I'm really worried that soon enough my treatment team will not accept me turning down inpatient for my dog and take her away and commit me. I know that this sounds like "not a situation a dog should be in". But I am not normally like this. And I equate it to someone getting sick with severe pneumonia and entering a hospital to leave behind their dog. They have to go, the dog doesn't know they're sick. Well my dog is smart, this whole week she's spent every night with me in bed, when she usually spends it on her dog bed. But in general I'm pretty okay unless I'm facing a panic attack.

What can I do for her, with her? Has anyone ever faced this before?