I too am in college and have medication resistence issues; I know exactly what that hopelessness feels like.
I frequently feel more mechanical than anything else...

Are you in any sort of therapy? Most people do the best when they are on a medication and in therapy. CBT happened to not help me, so I started biofeedback and self-hypnosis, which is working better.

Its very frustrating that finding what works best is all trial and error.