I don't really trust my T, I haven't been going for a long time and I definitely doubt many things about T and therapy and I still feel like T session is the most important event of the week (can be negative too). So I go to Uni, I am home doing my homework and reading stuff, being on the computer and I STILL think about my appt all the time.
and I am neither attached nor do I look forward to my sessions. I do, but I get so anxious that I want to cancel every single week.

No idea what's going on. I struggle a lot with this. Someone or something having so much power over me and my life.