I agree - and I have asked every one of the questions you listed, and tons more.

Do you think I will make it [be one of the ones who change, and not one of those who get stuck in blame and then quit]? was a huge question for me to ask the first time, SO HARD to ask, but I got a very kindly and reassuring answer that helped extinguish my anxiety immediately. This is something I ask every few months, along with some of the ones you list.

I'd say I get a straight answer about 90% of the time. And for the other 10% - when she dodges, and answers a question with a question - I can get her to discuss with me, which is good too.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((( sailboat ))))))))))))))))))))))))))