Neri....I have the same thoughts about my life. I just journaled the other day that there is some type of jinx on my life because I can never have 2 days that are decent in a row....I am just looking for decent. Something always comes along that takes away any little joy I feel.
I totally understand your feeling. And, I am sorry that you suffer w/ the same feelings in your head that I do.
I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
May today be filled w/ blessings for you! May peace reign high in your life...if just for today!