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Feb 25, 2011, 09:50 AM
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,275
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Hey Joy,
As a Daughter who is still techniacally in denial I will answer as best as I can 
First, my questions;
a) Her illness seems to be offlimits for discussing (because she is in denial). Is there a suggested way I can bring this subject up without causing her to be angry and withdraw from me?
Have you tried reading up and using resources? There is a good book called Living with Bipolar- for friends and family... really good and informative. I have actually read it before my family have and was taken aback by how well it described me lol.
b) We could be talking about any subject and if I ask a question, express any disagreement or if she interprets in any way that I am contradicting her that could also cause anger/irritability/withdraw from me
I am the same as your Daughter. Anything triggers me at the moment. Its the joys of not knowing your triggers that well. You could note down specific times/days/subjects that seem to upset your Daughter. Example at the moment mines is work... anything to do with work makes me angry and or upset and or anxious etc. Maybe your Daughter thinks the world is against her? Show her your there for her no matter how upset she gets. Remember the boundaries though your Daughter still has to respect you as her Mum.
c)Does this mean I should always agree with her? I can never question anything she says? In effect, I can never have a normal conversation with her because it cannot be a two-way discussion?
No you should not just agree with her so as not to upset your Daughter. That is making the boundaries shakey and makes your Daughter not respect your opinion. You need to explain to your Daughter that you are human and you have a opinion just like anyone else. If she does not like it then that is her opinion. She does not need to agree with your opinion but she does have to respect your opinion.
d) When she says something hurtful to me how shld I respond? Ignore it? Say something like 'I'm sorry you feel that way" and end the conversation? If I end the conversation (which I sometimes do) then I risk her not speaking to me for a period of time (not always - sometimes we will talk the very next day and either she forgets the prev discussion or chooses to forget about it)
I think you should respond and let her know that it is unacceptable to disrespect you. You are allow to do this. I think the thing not to do is "walk on egg shells" around her. Which I think you are doing so as not to upset your Daughter. But your Daughter needs to realise sometimes her behaviour/attitude is unacceptable and un-necessary.
Hope this helped?
Do you think your Daughter is trying to scare you? From reading your post I think she is. The whole paranomormal stuff would scare me lol. I would be suspicious too of if she is telling the full story to the doctors. I think your Daughter is in need of help so I hope she gets it soon.
You must be going round in circles, your mind must be on over drive. I am sorry you are going through this.
Your health needs are also being jepodiased as she is making you feel nervous around your own Daughter. Is there any chance you and your ex can sit down and chat about your Daughter? That might be 1 way to make things clear on what needs to happen.
How old is your Daughter?
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