I was in a very similar place not long ago. I agree with Rapunzel that after hitting bottom the only place to go is up. I know how it feels like you won't ever be anywhere but at the bottom like you are now, but you haven't always been here and will find your way out, I know you will. Keep talking if it helps, we will always listen. If you feel unsafe, call your T or doc or go to the er.

Take care of yourself as much as you can right now