This is not intended as an AA bashing post, I'm just feeling very frustrated with the attitudes of some AA members. And I know I need to get a new sponsor.

I called my sponsor yesterday to tell her I'm starting rehab today. Me I'm thinking this is a good thing, and that she'll be happy. Nope - she told me in no uncertain terms that I shouldn't be doing it. The problems: This particular rehab is not a 12 step program, I've done it before and it didn't keep me sober so I'm not going to learn anything new and I should just be focussing on AA, and my personal favourite - it keeps me in patient mode which is just an excuse for not working on my character defects. Oh and by the way I shouldn't be on the meds I'm on, most especially not the Naltrexone and Antabuse. Sorry, but my decisions about meds are between me and my Dr., and I like this rehab because it's a real concurrent disorders program which is really hard to find, and I figure I can always learn something new.

Then I went to my AA meeting. The meeting itself was good. But after the meeting, one woman decided to give me unsolicted advice - which was all standard AA lines, which normally I'm ok with except I was already in a foul mood after the conversation with my sponsor. And then she comes out with she thinks I shouldn't be on meds, and that after I've been sober awhile if I work a good program my depression will go away. Sure - I've struggled with depression my entire life even before I started drinking. Thanks to my meds, I'm not suicidal for the first time in as long as I can remember, I haven't self injured in over 2 years although I still want to daily.

I honestly don't get the anti psych meds thing. It even says in the Big Book that some people can benefit from psychiatric help, so to me telling me that I shouldn't be seeing Dr's or taking meds, is not in keeping with the program.

It's stuff like this that really makes me not want to go to meetings.

--splitimage