It is hard to self-disclose....especially the scary, shameful things....and I'm still not through all of what I need to in therapy, but I've found that when I disclose scary stuff - but less scary than the major scary - and see my T's reaction, that it brings me closer to trusting that he will be ok with whatever I tell him. He has not rejected me for any of the awful things I've shared so far and still shows me the caring for the person I am today - right now - in the present.

Hopefully, you can bring yourself to do it gradually. I have also found that doing it in writing is easier for me than saying the words out loud.