(((Sophia)))

Leed put it very well. I think that your (and my) main reason is to avoid the pain.

I have always been that way. Ever since I was a tiny girl, made very few friends. When I did make friends, though, it was for life. Even still, there are parts of myself that I have only revealed to a couple of people in my entire life. And that's been in the last year or so. Those couple of people are professionals ~ not friends, and certainly not family.

I have never enjoyed meeting new people (unless I was drunk!). I have always been socially inhibited, probably due to frequent moving throughout childhood. Instead, I am "closed off" until I somewhat trust the person. Then, I slowly let out little bits of my personality. I do not go deep at all in almost all of my relationships. I typically get freaked out the closer one gets to my inner self, and I have to resist the urge to run. I'm not a teen anymore. I can't just get up and leave every relationship anymore.

I'm therefore very careful on how much I will reveal and to who I will reveal these thoughts (feelings and personality traits). I won't say anything, but my bf can feel me close up emotionally. Like a clam.