I feel like I am talking to myself. Is anybody out there?

My therapist did respond to the email that I actually sent. Of course she said that she is not offended or upset with me. She basically told me that I was doing a good job with my assignments, but that I need to try to bring emotion to my words when we talk.

Laduh! I know I do. I want to get emotional in therapy! She said that fear of what I may do and fear of being overwhelmed by the emotion holds me back. Doesn't it hold most of us back? We want to 'feel' things in therapy, but those 'feelings' don't come!! They come when I am in the whirlpool tub when no one can hear me crying myself silly! They come late at night when I am trying to sleep. Yes, they are screaming in the dark.

I am totally numbed out right now. I don't have any feeling at all about therapy. Don't care one way or the other if I ever go back. Why is that? I cannot figure this out! For some reason, I am almost aggravated at my therapist. I have no idea why.

I know some of you may say to go the session on Monday and talk about these feelings. I think that would be a waste of time and money. Then again, I am in no frame of mind to make any decisions right now. My emotions are totally gone!