Despite all the additional meds. Called my GP today. didn't tell him that last night I was feeling suicidal. But did tell him I am not doing good. Lots of anqiety which I think is what is making me snappy. Not helped by hubby doing nothing around the house except messing up places I just tidied. I have tried to do some school work but found it SO hard to achieve. All I have managed is to mark one set of assessments.

Anyway, GP said to take olanzapine twice daily (was on once) and to use the valium as I need to. Trouble is I don't know when I need to; I don't know if I am over reacting or if I am reacting entirely reasonably.

I've been having some REALLY weird dreams too - along with not sleeping well. Thinnk the weird dreams keep waking me up.

I can't remember stuff. Can't remember names, facts, where I put stuff, appointments. All that and more.

I hate being where I am. I just don't want to be here any more, and I have lost hope that I will ever get to a better place.