Milkblood thanks for your words. What you say sounds right. I do tend to be quite hard on myself in my reactions to how I react & feel. I plan on telling my T about my finding this forum and the efforts I'm making to deal with these feelings between sessions. An hour a week is nice, but I'll need to have some tools to deal with them the rest of the time. So maybe I can put them in their proper place some day & not feel like I'm living a "double life" - one where I'm having these feelings about my T while dealing with the rest of my life. I'd like to PM you but not sure how. You do sound like you have a pretty good grasp on this stuff. So maybe you could let me know how to PM you - or we can continue to do it this way. Whatever. If nothing else so far, at least I now know I'm not alone with this - that others do it too - and that it's not uncommon - that there's not something "wrong" with me for feeling this way - and that it gets better. Doesn't seem like that now, but I guess that's part of it.