i can't handle this anymore I have been here suffering my own damn thoughts since I was nine and I'm 31 and I hate this so low so low so low I can't even find the right words anymore.
Pain.
Mental illness
Self injury
physical disorder
I am so tired.

I can't ring those helplines because I feel guilty, guilty for dissapointing my family, guilty because there are people far worse off than me.
I am cut down and battered.
What the hell do I do?????????????????