At least one other client has discussed dissatisfaction with him as a therapist on a deeper level. They even brought up the fact that they worried he controlled me too much. But most of his clients see his surface as he doesn't see them as much as I do, because they are not on his favorites list. And trust me when I say this, I am NOT bragging about being on this favorites list. It's a lot of hard work. I never know when my illness will get bad and if that will push him away because I will temporary need him to be there more. It's like if I get sick I loose support. Which only reinforces my whole past. So I often have to act happy when I am feeling terrible. And it ends up in a complete melt down eventually.

And I'm actually not a caretaker. In the triad of dysfunctional families I'm not any of them. I'm anti dependent. What he says to her effects me on a personal level as well as in general it's not fair to her as a person. I didn't try to rescue her or step in. But I did care about her as a person and putting myself in her position it was unfair.

I'm not getting proper treatment at all from him and it's so frustrating. I dissociate and end up self harming every therapy session (as well as outside of therapy) to avoid talking about my past and he won't let me see another therapist. He doesn't specialize in trauma but he's "certain" I don't have DID and that it's "just not possible", because I got diagnosed with it years ago by a psychiatrist. That's a pretty serious diagnosis that shouldn't be ignored.