I just needed to revisit this. I have had a few bad experiences lately and I just need to remind myself that this is sooooooo in the past and that I have to learn to let it go.

I used to be able to contain this stuff. I held it in check until my first brother died. Five years later when the other one died...I lost it. I crumbled. I let it get the best of me and it knocked me down over and over again.

Why is it so hard to retrain the brain? How many times must I revisit this? You'd think by now I'd be over it. I feel like I'm flunking.

It doesn't happen all the time anymore, but something as simple as the woman tapping on my vein threw me back thirty something years ago.

Sigh and grrrrr all at once.