I didn't know that I was missing anything, sex was just boring, mostly, except for maybe the first 5 minutes, but I would stick with it for the sake of the man. When at the age of 44 someone had a nerve to tell me I was non-orgasmic I felt awful, angry at him, and in full blown denial. While he was not interested in "making me" orgasmic - he was of opinion that is something I must discover by myself and take responsibility for my orgasm myself (I found that outrageous too, took me long time to acknowledge he was right), he did tell me about sexual education (not the kind about birds and bees we do for kiddlies).
So, fuming, I eventually sought that out, and it opened my eyes. I found that there are distinctly different genital types of men and women, and we each have quite different way of "getting there". The mainstream mythology has it that EVERY woman needs LOOOOONG foreplay and will enjoy long slow lovemaking. That was why I haven't been orgasmic most my life. I was not everywoman. More than 50% of women are not that everywoman, really.

As to the impact of this on me? Since I was already 5 years past menopause (been "done" with it at age of 39) and have markedly un-attractive obese body, not a whole lot sexually speaking. I gained a lot of self-knowledge. It contributed to my growth tremendously. By finding a sister-hood connection with other women, and sensing/seeing the same brother-hood of men it helped me to heal some of my gender-wounds.

And since you seem to be asking for hints of how she may want to go about her self-discovery, technically speaking, what I learned is what I have not been doing in my non-orgiastic love-makings was using what is know commonly as Kegels. Contracting the muscles, and relaxing, running breath through it and building energy. In fact there is a technique where a person (much easier for women than men) can orgasm without anything or anyone touching their body.