Thanks everybody for the support. Leed - I don't need to find another meeting, I actually really like my homegroup - I've been to a lot of different meetings in Toronto, there are something like 600 a week to choose from, and I keep coming back to this meeting. It's a really down to earth group where you can literally share on anything, and there a bit unusual in that they only have closed meetings. Tues night is a step study, and Thurs. night is a step study. I get along well with all the members, its just this past Thurs. one member who only has 2 years of sobriety decided to be "helpfull".

But honestly, it seems to me, that people are trying to make me not want to go to AA. Thurs. night Carol, who's a friend, asked me if I wanted to go to a meeting with her Fri. night. I said I couldn't as that was my night to volunteer down on the telephone support lines at CAMH. I called her today, to set up going for coffee and she lights into me for going to my shift instead of to a meeting - saying it's "easier to look at other people than look at ourselves." FFS - I've been volunteering there for 2.5 years, I'm good at it, the hospital and our regular callers expect me to be there. And believe me spending 3 hours talking to a bunch of addicts and mental health patients is a lot harder than going to an AA meeting.

I agree with the suggestions of looking for some meetings that are for people with mental health and addiction issues. There are some here that I know about, they're called Double Recovery and are a joint venture between the psych hospital & a mental health clubhouse. The only problem is the meetings tend to be at bad times for me, and are often closed and only open to clients of a particular agency. But I'm going to look into it.

In the meantime I'm focussing on rehab and getting to as many AA meetings as I can tolerate - and I'm looking for a new sponsor.

--splitimage