I'm not quite sure why I've been compelled to post my thoughts on an anonymous forum instead of in one of my private journals. I guess if I put my thoughts out there, maybe something will boomerang back.

Man, I'm tearing out hair as I type this.

I'm slowly accepting I need to change courses...With everything. Starting with a career path.

Maybe happiness is more a fleeting moment than a persistent state over an extended period of time for me. Maybe I'm just not going about this right because I don't have the right expectations.

Maybe its not ADD, but a habit of losing my attentiveness when disinterested in a task. Maybe no matter what I chose to do with myself, I'll be screwed if I don't get rid of being so unconsciously spoiled and unfocused. Is it ADD or old work habits that need to die hard? Maybe I need to see a therapist after all.

I feel like everything about who I am and the way I think is so difficult to categorize, its hard to even know myself [note: Degree in accounting. I loooove to categorize, haha]. Do I have a real problem with ADD? Or am I just spoiled and hate settling for less? ...Or am I simply not that intelligent? Perhaps I'm unaware of talents I could pursue. Or instead maybe its an issue of wrong time, wrong place? Or maybe I shouldn't worry so much over trying to define myself, and just try fixing the issues [re]manifesting.

I don't know why I accidentally lost that money at work today. I don't know why I'm such a slow learner when there's no textbook in front of me. I don't know why I am so forgetful....And late all the time. A bit impulsive, sometimes easy to rouse to anger. Maybe its ADD. Maybe its not ADD.

Is there a pill out there for being me, where I'm from, at age 24, in 2011?