((((((ss))))))) I think it's a great idea to write some of the verses down on cards. I might try that too!! I'm so glad you had a better night last night and that you found it restful and not stressful to focus on your breathing while you were in bed. That's great!!!

I had a weird night. The night part was ok but then I woke up suddenly from a dream at 7.30 this morning and I felt like I couldn't breathe properly. I can't even remember what the dream was about now, but I know it wasn't a nightmare. I lay there for a moment trying to calm myself but I felt a rising sense of panic.

It's hard to explain about the breathing. I wasn't breathing fast or gasping or anything, it was more like I was hardly breathing at all. It was like the mechanism that controls my breathing had stopped. I tried to take a slow deep breath and I just couldn't do it. So I took a shallow breath and then exhaled really quickly. I think something physiological happens when you don't breathe properly and I definitely started to feel strange with some odd muscle twitches too. I got up and went to the bathroom and that helped calm me down a bit. It's odd because my pulse is not racing at that point. In fact, my pulse feels slow, but instead of feeling calm, I feel very anxious. Then I start feeling panicky which results in even more physiological symptoms.

This used to happen frequently at night (and during the day too) and it was horrible. Thankfully it hasn't happened in a while. I went back to bed and I really tried to focus on taking deeper breaths. It took me about 45 minutes before I felt more relaxed. Then I dozed for a bit.

When I got up this morning I felt anxious. And my breathing still felt somewhat self-conscious. I did meditate after I got up and it went ok. Then I went for a long hike with my hubby and the dogs and that helped. But I can't completely shake the anxiety. It's a body feeling. My body just feels anxious. I need to distract myself.

Anyway, thanks for letting me get that out!! My back is sore (thanks for asking!).

I just read your other thread in the Bi Polar forum (((((((ss))))))) and I'm so sorry for the emotional distress you are going through. I hope so much that some peace will come to you