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(JD) · Feb 26, 2011, 07:36 PM

Putting aside that you're his mother for a moment...

he is no longer under your responsibility but is considered an adult because of his age

so... since he lives with you, he needs to abide by your rules of the home

if you have any? Time to make some?

if he doesn't like your rules, he is free to find his own place and do his own work to provide for himself

Why should he change when he has it all provided on a plate to him?
I mean, even without depression, he wouldn't do anything because he doesn't have to.

Ok, now mom... tough love time...make sure you have support from your therapist to do this... make a rule or two or three or five... and sit down with him as adults and discuss them... also, have consequences for breaking any of the house rules. It appears he hasn't been able to learn about consequences yet, and it's probably a good time. (Part of this may stem from the idea that schools have that "everyone gets a prize, there are no losers...which doesn't show consequences for effort or such, but I digress..)

It won't be easy, but what will he do when you are no longer around or able to care for him? Time to do this now, while he is young enough to learn. PS Going to therapy, taking medicines, developing a sleep routine would all be part of my rules of the house.