I know this doesn't help right NOW while you're triggered (and I'm sorry you're triggered ), but can you ask T about his phone policy next time you see him??

It helped me to have SOME idea of what was okay. I asked, and T didn't give me a ton of information, but enough to know that it was okay to call and leave a message and he would call me back when he could. I also asked him really early in therapy if I could e-mail once a week between sessions, and he said we could try it, because he had never used e-mail with a client before. It was a little nightmarish while we both tried to figure out the boundaries, expectations, etc. around the e-mail, but in the end, it feels really comfortable now. Calling is still scary (after 3 1/2 years!), but I know I can if I need to, and I do sometimes.

I felt a lot more comfortable once we had the conversation, just knowing what the options were.

I hope you feel better, sweetlove