Hi Amoslass,
You're doin it tough girl! My sweet little sister had this exact circumstance not long ago. She had to hide in her room, in her own house, while the ex partner chose to not understand why she didn't want to go out for coffee!!!
Proud that you made the call... I had to make the call once. The dude I spoke to sounded a lot older, a lot more basic, and had a formulaic manner of speaking. Still I figured that he was a volunteer and wasn't doing it for fun so he must have had a caring spirit. Just making the call helped me feel that I still had some control, some resources to at least try the next thing.

I know what you mean about help in this country.. it exists but is so full up dealing with those fully addicted to support that there is no spare capacity.

Being in the same house has got to be hurting. I guess that even if you could afford an apartment... the need is now!

Have you considered breaking the "family trait of politeness" and just reaching out to family and friends? Maybe you will find that the "trait" is just a habit and that your people would love to be needed? Even a week or two will blunt the sharpness of the pain.