ErinBear...you sound a lot like me!

I've also been 'clean' (the best way to say it, I guess) for about 6 or 7 months now, but just like you, I don't like to keep count. This is because I've slipped up before after rationalizing that 'since I haven't done it in this long, its okay if I do it just once'.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I completely understand what you're saying. Sometimes, it's just too damn hard! But when we can get through those moments without self-injury, we are the winners. We are the ones that come out on top and ultimately gain from it. Congratulations on over a year! That's amazing. You should be so proud of yourself, I know I am (of you).

But also know that this CAN be done without a T. I mean, the T is guiding you and helping you along, but ultimately you are the one who is not self-injuring and I truly believe that you can maintain that. I have gone this long without ever talking to any T about my cutting. I'm not saying that you are me, or that it should be easy for you, but just know that it can be done and I have faith in you.

Please PM me if you ever need any help or just wanna talk. I hope all goes well for you!