Hello anr126 and welcome to PC!

Strictly from what information you have written about it sounds to me like your family was somewhat stifled in the communication department. I don't know if there was any physical abuse but it sounds like there may have been some emotional things going on. It sounds as if your dad was an authoritarian and what he said or decided was it....no discussion, nothing. That in itself is stifling to the family.

I think you would do well to get into therapy and start talking. A therapist can help you work through your questions and help you get a better view of what/why you are feeling the way you do.

I hope you find the answers to your questions and concerns. Wishing you well!