Sorry you are having such a rough go, SadRobot... I hope it turns around for you soon. Know what you mean about not being able to imagine what it would be like to get "it" back. You will have the strength to rebuild and I'm glad you know this deep down too.

Nice poems. You know, I envy you this ability*. Your ability is very likely due to your being able to draw those connections -- even if they seem "far-fetched" to others. Bet those connections and what you 'see" are actually are there. That's a great thing! At the very least, they are there for you, and that's one of the beauties of poetry (and also music) -- to be open to multiple interpretations. Yours are as valid as anyone else's.

*(See, my BF has written considerable amounts of poetry (his hero is Dylan Thomas). I've read them. They've even brought me to tears despite having only the vaguest clue. I want so much to be able to really get it! No problem there in music or visual arts (I live that, and if anyone were to be able to pick up on the interconnectedness in my work --that actually is there -- and very purposeful -- I'd be astounded and infinitely grateful for it to be understood in that way), so why does written poetry elude me so? Hearing it read helps a lot. Still, it's very frustrating not to be able to make the same leaps of understanding as in the other art forms...) So, again, I envy you this ability.

Hope your appointment goes well. Please keep us posted, ok? (and so you know you're not alone, I moved an appt. up for the very first time just this week and feel the same way. Yes, I could get by too, but... ) Hugs and kudos to you for recognizing this, SadRobot!