That happens to me too Sun... where I am barely breathing and hardly a pulse can be found. It often follows high anxiety. It comes when I am anxious in place of hyperventilating. I am not sure why one or the other happens. Perhaps it represents the two extremes and either way the work is to get our breathing level.

I also know that feeling of your body feeling anxious and getting only momentary relief when we spend time with our breath and return to our centre.

It reminds me of something Lavie told us.... to learn to sit with anxiety. To acknowledge it but not let it take over your thoughts. Meditate instead on what it feels like not to be anxious about anything.

I have been practicing something new. Probably in response to my meltdown yesterday. Even when I would calm down a little bit I could feel the nagging anxiety haunting me ready to rise up with the slightest trigger. Each time I would say to myself, "Its just anxiety. Breath". Like you it isn't always easy at first to regulate the breathing. I discovered if whenever I felt the anxiety start to well up again if I immediately broke away and got my breathing steady again. As it turned out there wasn't much I could do without triggering some anxiety from within or without but it did prevent the anxiety from getting out of my control.

I hope your anxiety eases and that you are able to get a restfull sleep tonight.

Thank you for your support regarding my son. I am still struggling to keep from curling up and a corner somewhere and just melting into tears. I did actually melt down once when the sound of the snow plow outside brought me to my knees. I did some meditative walking around the house to help calm me down again.

Other then that I had a very mindful night. My only interest was to get a break from thinking about the situation so I could focus on returning to my breath. Sometimes one deep inhald and slow exhale was all I needed. Other times it would take more. Depended on how quickly I responded.

Even though I had done all this to manage the anxiety when my head hit the pillow in search of sleep the tears welled up again and I just felt too wasted to try to fight it. Eventually I did get back to focused breathing but the anxiety would quickly return. I ended up crying myself to sleep. I woke feeling anxious and depressed. The day has been another duel with anxiety. So far I am winning the battle.

One minute at a time emersed in what is beautiful around me. Like the view from my window watching the snow coming down and noticing how pretty the trees look all covered in snow. Looks like we got 6 inches at least since it started late last night. It is snowing very heavily so who knows when it will stop.

The drive way is beckoning me to come out with the shovel but I am not sure I am really up for it. My son is on crutches so it falls on me. Can't remember his excuses for the last 2 snow falls last week but I know I sure don't feel like it right now. I am inclined to just not go anywhere and leave the drive and my truck buried in snow.

I will go for a walk and maybe play some in the snow. Too dry for a snow buddy. Maybe some angels would be fun. I shall see after that how much shoveling I can do.