Lee - there have always been some problems - they have gotten progressively worse as my depression has gotten worse. He met a happy, fun loving woman. Now I am depressed and sad - he "knew" i am bipolar but hadn't seen it till now although I may have been veryhypo manic when I got engaged to him a month after we met. It's not sinking in about it being an illness to him. He said he would go to my therapist with me - I just want him to understand more about depression and how what he says hurts...he doesn't get it when i say it - I want him to hear it from a 3rd party - and have her suggest marriage.

Turquoisesea - I'm very torn on quitting my job - my boss is most definitely abusive - I have money in savings that I can fall back on in a worst case scenario - I've been having panic attacks at work since December - if I can get unemployment it would be preferable but I'm calling out tomorrow for sure and will talk to my Pdoc about going on short term disability for now.

mom2twins
you definitely hit the nail on the head - my husband is an only child and it's always all about him - and he is a very Black and White kind of guy.
We were so happy in the beginning, which wasn't even that long ago.
I wish I could be happy. It's so hard being depressed - it's like I'm watching from outside my body wishing i could change things. If i could get the job thing in order, then i could work on the marriage - it's just too much at once.

Thank you all for your insight.