I am sorry for your sadness BNLsMom. In my experience it will take some time for it to sink in and redefine your relationship but it will come. I remember when my ex and I came to the decision to no longer be life partners. He worked out of town so his was only in the home 3 to 4 days a week. That had been our norm for a few years and the time apart was probably why we lasted as long as we did.

When we made the decision that our relationship was over I remember feeling a sense of relief but like you say the sadness sets in pretty quickly and you start to miss the support. It took time to adjust and for along time I would hold on the the hope that we would find our way back together. I knew deep down that I didn't want to go back but the desire to have what we lost nagged on me.

It will get easier in time. You go through a grieving process and then you start to heal and adjust to a new life. Making those adjustments while living under the same roof can be challenging but in time you find your groove.

My ex is still my best friend. It was strained when we first broke up but over time our friendship grew again. I think I realized and perhaps so did he that the friendship was what we missed the most.

He has since moved across the country but he calls regularly to talk to me about things going on at work and in his life. He has become my biggest emotional support. He is far more understanding and patient and supportive since he got some distance from the everyday crazies.

Give it some time and if you have a friend you can turn to for hugs and support that would be a big help for you too. My heart goes out to you because I do remember those early days of mixed emotions, sadness and lonliness. It does come in waves but the time between will expand over time. Maybe spend some time focusing on the positives for you. It may be hard to see them at first but there is a silver lining to being out from under the pressure of trying to fix something too broken to repair.

I hope you and your ex are able to redefine your relationship and strength a new bond of friendship. You share a lot of history and you have children together. I know that the co-habitating made it a lot easier on my son then if he had moved out completely. He hardly noticed the difference because it change nothing in his life. His dad was still here as much as ever. I knew it was the right thing for all of us when my son remark how much better we were getting along. We were still a family and we did family things together so from my son's perspective everything was as it had always been but better.