Hi ((((ss)))) I loved seeing your snow lady in the other thread!! Great job!! And I loved hearing about your cedar tree and the tobacco offering you make.

I'm really sorry you cried yourself to sleep last night but it sounds like you did great with managing the anxiety. You have a real reason to feel anxious and it must be incredibly hard to maintain any sense of calm when you're so overwhelmed emotionally. And yet you obviously did manage to do just that. My anxiety is more "free-floating". There is nothing specific I am anxious about, other than my own feelings - both physical and emotional. And I am very anxious about those. I live in fear of myself. Of my own mind and body and the tricks they play on me. I fluctuate between thinking there MUST be something physical causing this (I've been to the doctor many times and she can't find anything specific), and between thinking that it really is "just" anxiety. Either way, I don't seem to end up feeling any better though.

I was relieved to hear that you also have that experience with being very anxious but having a low pulse at the same time (well, obviously, I wish you didn't have that experience, but it's so strange to me that this happens and it's comforting on some level to know that it's not just me). I don't really understand it since all the literature on panic attacks and anxiety talk about a rapid heartbeat, not a slow heartbeat......That's one reason why I'm scared to take benzos like Ativan, because they slow down your heart rate and your breathing, which is the last thing I need to happen......

The only medication I take is Zoloft (I don't have an official diagnosis of Bipolar even though I do post in that forum and am part of the BP Social Society) My diagnosis is Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Panic Disorder and specific phobias, and dysthymia. I've recently started taking some homeopathic remedies and I thought they were helping, but every time I "relapse" back into the really bad anxiety, I start questioning it all. I'm going back to see the naturopath on Friday....

I do try and tell myself that it's anxiety and that it will go away again. And I have got better at not reacting to the anxiety. But it still manages to catch me off guard sometimes - like when I wake up and immediately feel panicky for no apparent reason - and in those situations I find it hard to calm down again.

Today has been a better day overall, but this evening I've been feeling anxious again and I'm scared to go to bed in case I have a panic attack. But I am going to go upstairs now and do some meditation and then go to bed.

Phew!! Sorry to write so much. And to go way off the topic of meditation!! Thanks for listening

I really hope you have a better night tonight ((((((((((((ss)))))))))))))))