I can totally relate to everything you say about anxiety. My dx is BP, anxiety and panic disorders, phobias and a few others I seriously question. I think sometimes they just like to make a list for the sake of making a list. Not to mention their interest in justifying a boat load of meds. The symptoms are so intertwined between all of these that labels don't much matter at the end of the day.

I can also relate to the kind of over thinking you do to try to figure out what is going on, how to fix it and questioning if what you are doing is working or not.

I know what you mean about the almost not breathing seeming contrary to popular assumptions. I have come to think of it this way... when our breath seems non existent I think it is our last defense to fight the anxiety. It is anxiety to the extreme in a way. It is like our bodies shutting down a little. It is not conscious but an unconscious anxiety driven response to overload. Just a thought... I overthink things too. lol.

Other then the circumstantially triggered anxiety that can catch me off guard and have me on my knees before I am able to get a grip on it, I have times when I just generally feel on edge and wound up really tight ready to snap at any moment. The anxiety I hate the most are those times when my hypersensitive to sounds in particular is heightened. Sounds that other people don't even notice will have me cringing and pressing my hands over my ears to try to block it out. A motor cycle or a siren can bring me too my knees and immediately trigger convulsive crying. A sqeak or a squeal or a high pitched buzz just crumble me. I am getting better and breathing my way to recovery but if I can I will find a way to escape the noise and breath my way back to center. On a good day I may not react much if at all but on a bad day, a day when my anxiety is up everything is that much more intense. Like you say it is when an anxious response catches you off guard that is the hardest to deal with. Just that experience zaps your reserves and before you know you are caught.

I found an interesting article today about coping with anxiety. Looking beyond the sales pitch I found the approaches he shared worth the read. Here are the links to a couple of the ones I read tonight....

End anxiety in 4 easy steps.... it speaks to the idea of sitting with the anxiety that Lavie has talked to us about.....
http://www.panicaway.com/newsletter/1

Here is another from the same site but it also has on the right side a list of other articles that don't appear in the first link but seem interesting as well.

Getting to sleep when you have anxiety.....
http://www.panicaway.com/blog/getting-to-sleep-when-you-have-anxiety

I too hope for a better nights sleep yet here I am.... here we are... lol... still on line at 1am. Intensions are a great think hey. lol. I guess it is time to live the intension and breath my way to bed. No fear, no presupposing, no pre-anxiety. With a spirit of calm and focus only on what reflects balance and harmony. My words for meditation before I submit to finding sleep.

Be well my friend. Given how long and detoured my posts can be I am happy to see others do it as well. I am not so sure though that it is relevant to our meditation. I think by sharing our day to day struggles we are learning from and teaching each other how to apply them to our everyday. As we share we find commonality with each other and as such we are able to relate and share ways that we cope that might be useful to others.

I like where we are going with this thread. It as become very personal, real life and practical. We are being strengthen to keep at it and feeling more empowered as we go along. We have more determination to find the other side of our disorders because we are walking side by side together. The encouragement and support we are getting from each other is for me a great and wonderful gift. It is good not to be travelling this road alone. I would have quit weeks ago if not for you guys.

Wishing you an anxiety free sleep and a calm and refreshing wake up time.