thanks so much for your reply it made me feel better letting off a little steam. My husband does drink alot and I have told him that I didn't like it. My mother was a drunk and I became a heavy drinker too, but thankfully I quit. I know I won't kill myself, but I have severe obsessive thoughts about it. I had over came this about year ago but I guess I relasped. Oh well!! I am going to find a counsler to talk to. Maybe that will help. My therapist sure isn't much help. Thanks so much for the support!!