I am sorry if my words have upset some of you, that is not what I intended to do or wanted you to feel. I am not talking about those who have worked through their stuff, and I do feel they can call themselves whatever they choose.
I am mainly talking about those who have been through trauma and have had their feelings poo poed and then being told, "well you survived it, didn't you, so stop complaining..." This has happened to so many people. So many have not seeked help because there were made to feel guilty or shame having problems dealing with what happened to them.

I call it a "fairy tale" saying because others use it on others to help THEM deal with it. It doesn't help a victim who just has gone through something horrible, to say "well at least you survived". Just being alive is enough in life. I didn't imply that if you use that word to describe yourself that you haven't work through the trauma or have healed. I used to word because some others (who the crime didn't happen to) want to sugar coat the situation you have been through, sometimes even hours after a crime and just calling someone a survivor, doesn't mean they are now okay. I am not talking about the people who the crime has happened to, but to those around them, who use that word. I used "fairy tale" as an analogy of those (not the victim) calling someone a survivor is if that it will magically make them feel better and everything okay.

Not calling ourselves victims is also making it easier for perpetrators to get lessor sentences for their crimes. It isn't being taken seriously enough for what they have done. Whether you call yourself a victim or a survivor, the trauma you have gone through has impacted your life, probably forever. And that is why I feel if we use victim instead of survivor, maybe those perpetrators will not be let off the hook so much.

This is just how I feel personally. I never meant to make anyone feel put down. This is just my story. Darkrunner was having trouble with her T calling her a survivor when she felt like a victim. My response was to her because I have felt the same way, especially in the beginning of my therapy. It sucks for those not to acknowledge the abuse and trauma has been done, and that's what it felt like to me when I was being forced into calling myself a survivor when I didn't feel like it. You really are a victim of a crime, no matter what name you want to call it. Feeling like a victim is normal if you have been through a crime that has been done to you. Calling myself a victim to me just acknowledges what was done to me was a crime. How I feel about myself is something else, I have mostly healed and live a good mentally healthy life now.