Thank you so much for the validation avidreader! It sounds like you have really been through the mill. I admire you for having the courage to keep going and to question. You sound like a really strong person.

I kind of think depression involves both things--a genetic predisposition AND external circumstances that are incredibly difficult. Like you I get frustrated that only the psychological and chemical part is usually addressed. I guess we can't change reality, but if no one even acknowledges reality how do things ever change 'out there'? Also, it seems like--especially for you in this case--that grief is a big part of it, and grief is not pathological, it's necessary. When these things don't get acknowledged, we end up carrying even more personal guilt--for being depressed! When really, most people in the same circumstances would not be feeling that great.

I am predisposed to depression as a chemical imbalance. But I also know that our current circumstances are not normal, that we are dealing with severe economical pressures that are not all our fault.

I am grateful to at least have a solid marriage. Thank you and god bless.