Hey Kdd240z,

I went along and had to tell him everything. My CPN, was great about it all. He didn't make me feel like an idiot or anything.

I spoke about how I have been up and down since we last spoke and then I handed him my journal and he read it all. He was and is concerned that I have contemplated suicide before which he didn't know about and is wondering why I am thinking about it. He has said he is not concerned that I will actually attempt it.... he thinks I wont act on my impulses which I don't think so either.

He wonders about my self harming too and we spoke about it and why I do it etc. I just don't know!!

I am seeing him again in 2 weeks, I want him to see I am better though.

He thinks my Depakote and or Seroquel will be upped but he is gonna speak to my Psych and get back to me on that one.

He says I need to let people in the RW know about my self destructivness as I need them. He is the only one to know and he says I need support from people around me.

I hope I am gonna be ok, I am kinda unsure feeling now!!