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Feb 28, 2011, 06:09 PM
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Member Since: May 2007
Location: Cali
Posts: 8
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alright I'll just come right out with it: I'm bisexual. I came out when I was 14 and was happy. Now, I'm 21 and I am not sure how I feel about myself anymore...I know people have seen my posts about my boyfreind and his porn habits and how it bothers me but now I think it's having other effects on me. (porn itself, not just with my boyfreind)
Since I came out seven years ago, I cant even count how many closed-minded men thought it would be okay to ask if they could videotape me and another girl or "just watch" or ex boyfreinds wanting to have threesomes. Personally, regardless of my attraction to both sexes, I am a monogomous relationship type of person. If i am with a man, I am only with that man; If i am with a woman, I am only with that woman. no ifs, ands or buts about it. I dont share.
another problem I have had is that my ex boyfreinds who wanted threesomes also wanted me to watch porn with them while having sex. i gave in a couple of times and felt like i was just a sex object. because of these things as well as my current boyfreind watching porn behind my back, I feel ashamed to be attracted to women...
in a wierd way, I feel like if I dont want my man to look at other women, who am I to look at them? how does that make me any better than him? I cant control my sexual desires, but the idea of letting my man check out other women boils my blood and breaks my heart because i've already been cheated on, left for another woman and felt replaced by porn.
so whats wrong with me? I dont want to pretend like I am totally straight because I'm not, but I am so ashamed for doing things that i get mad at my boyfreind for doing. what do i do? how do I get past this? 
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*PsYcHo PeBbLeZ*
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