Quote:
Originally Posted by Suratji
Guilt and shame are probably a good emotion to feel - to a point. What if we didn't feel guilty? Then we would probably not have any kind of moral compass to help guide us through life. And that's probably who the criminals are in this world - people who have no feelings of guilt.
But, why do we hold on to our guilt? Are we still participating in actions that we feel guilty about? Then, guilt is probably useful. It should help us to avoid actions that don't adhere to our own values.
But, what if we're not doing the actions that we're carrying guilt around for? What is the practical use of carrying that guilt around? Isn't the past the past? What's done is done? Why can't we let go?
Sometimes I think I may be pursuing a path of self-gratification by holding on to my guilt. I know that doesn't make sense but if you think about it a bit, it keeps my attentions focused on ME. And if I'm focused on me, my goodness, isn't that the most important thing in the world??? Me!
What if I tried to change my focus off of me? What if I took a look around? What if I threw myself into doing good for others? What if I engaged in some selfless acts towards people in need? What if I gave instead of took? I "take" when I'm so self-absorbed.
So, if I think about others instead of myself, maybe I'll forget my misdeeds and they will become part of a forgotten story. A story that held import in its time but is no longer relevant. What if we believed we could change the story? Can we not choose to be who we want to be? Must the past imprison us forever?
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Suratji, I really love the ideas that you have brought up here. One time when I was feeling particularly low and dealing with a lot of depression, I asked my T how I could begin to feel better, and he told me "throw yourself into doing something for someone else." This is really hard to do when we feel so bad, BUT, you have a really good point when you say that feeling depressed and in pain and full of guilt and shame....these are very egocentric feelings that keep us self-absorbed. This is not because we are bad selfish people, however, sometimes it is useful to force ourselves to step away from our own issues and to focus outward.
A lot of times when I am feeling REALLY bad, I make a decision to throw myself into whatever activity my kids are doing, and I make a real effort to give myself to them and to focus on them and their needs and desires. This usually does offer some relief, albeit maybe temporary, from my own spiraling feelings.
Thank you for bringing this up......makes me really think about the extent of control I *do* have over my feelings and the ways that I react and respond to them.
