I began to feel a sense of a big empty space within, a sense that I will always be alone inside myself with a pain and a huge need that is intimately mine and mine alone and no one can come in and share it with me or take it away from me, a sense that no matter how much I am loved/how much I love somehow it will all never be enough.....

mourning for the fact that there is an inequality in the love felt and that the needs I am feeling far outweigh what can be given, by her or by anyone at all - hence the feeling that no matter what is given, it won't fill the space inside, which only seems to keep expanding the further along in therapy I go. And right now, it feels like no one and nothing in this life, in this world will ever fill it......and so I am mourning, I think.....mourning the truth that no amount of human love will ever seem like enough, because how can I expect any person to have the capacity to give the width and depth and vastness of love I seem to need to fill the aching infinite space within?

If only I could open my heart and let the pain out without having to feel it again or to feel like there are new wounds being opened because of therapy and my attachment to my T.....