It's really dishonest of him to have not told you his diagnoses, and then spring it on you. You were in no way prepared for this, and he was completely selfish in keeping it from you. I think there's a level of self deception going on... perhaps he thought you would never find out, that he'd never "come down." This self deception is very serious, he can't get well if he's lying to himself.

I have a diagnoses that I find embarassing as well, and don't tell everyone. But if I were to get serious about someone as a potential partner, I'd tell them.

If he's not prepared to seek professional help, to respect you and your daughter, to comply with his medical professionals advice, then I would concur that your best option is to leave him. If he's prepared to really truly work on it, there might be hope, but you'd have to take it slow, and very cautious, because his condition, unmanaged as it is, is distressing not only to you, but your daughter.

I get the feeling that he's too immature and escapist to take his recovery in hand... perhaps when he's older. But if in the mean time he is busy deflecting everything, making it your fault, then he's not healthy to be around. Look after yourself and your daughter.

Good luck... let us know what happens.