Captivating Short Story ~ that's pretty accurate. I do write alot and tell it all! I like the title "Squiggle threw a tantrum in T's office today". I think I will use that one when I actually do throw a tantrum. Because I showed by disgust and frustration at her today, I think I am getting close!

Of course, she sees that as 'progress'. At one point she saw me turn my head and mumble something. She said, "Go ahead, say it! Get it out there." Almost as if she was taunting me to get angry. She wants me to get angry. She wants me to show anger and frustration. I hope she enjoys it when it shows up!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

When my therapist replied to my last email, she said "YOU have to make the decision whether to come today or skip a week. You are the one who knows what is best for you. I will respect your decision either way. BUT think this through and make sure you are not avoiding an uncomfortable issue."

At first I was a bit upset with her that she wanted ME to make that decision. I wanted her to tell me, "Squiggle, you really need to come in today. We have some things we need to work on."

That would make me feel like she wanted me to be there. Kinda like she would miss me if I didn't go. But, she won't let me fall into those mind traps of allowing others to 'control' me. I have to make the decisions in therapy. She can guide me and encourage me, but she won't make decisions for me.